A Proper Explanation

I'm not even sure where to start... wow. Just... wow. I never thought I'd be doing this again. But here I am, in 2022, going back to my roots, back to where it all began for me. 

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Well... hey there everyone. 

I know that most everyone I used to know through Animal Jam has grown and changed and moved away from the game and the blogs about it. Obviously, I have too. I know this post won't reach many people because of that reason. But I still felt the need to make it anyway, even if all it does it sit on the home page unnoticed. I needed to give a proper explanation, look back on my old memories, reflect on how far I've come, and finally write the official goodbye that I never got around to doing 4 years ago. 

To those of you who don't know me, or don't remember me, I'm Swirlshine (or Swirl for short), the creator and sole author of this silly little blog. I created this blog back in 2014, while I was still in middle school, a couple days after my birthday and around a year after I joined Animal Jam. For years, I used it to post about the game, and through doing so, I made a lot of great friends and great memories that will never be forgotten. My friends and I always used to say that we'd be playing AJ and blogging about it for forever, for well into our 20s at least, and I believed this statement wholeheartedly, because my passion for this game had outgrown anything I'd ever felt before. It meant so much to me. Obviously, as the years passed, interests changed, and we all ended up abandoning our blogs and AJ after all. But, I can tell you now, none of us have abandoned the memories we have of that time in our lives. Personally, I hope I never do, because this game, this blog... it quite literally changed my life.


This blog started off small, and I mean REALLY small. For my first year of posting, I'm pretty sure I typically got no comments and no views on most of my posts. Which, looking back, was understandable, because back then, this blog was just like all the other informative AJ blogs that existed and were popular at that time. I reviewed the updates, talked about the occasional glitch or funny comment I saw... and that was it. Truth be told, I never really expected it to go anywhere big anyway. I was just happy to be sharing my thoughts about something I loved. But still, I really wished for people, even just a few, to see it and enjoy it with me, and eventually, that did happen. I began to shape this blog into something that really represented me. It was chaotic, cringey, and disorganized, but it was me, and I loved it. And slowly, I began to find other people who enjoyed it as well.

Back then, I was having a lot of trouble with friendships. Friends I thought I'd be growing up with grew apart from me and found new friends, leaving me feeling lost and ashamed of myself for not being better. There was a period in time when I had no true friends, and I thought this was my fault, that I was nowhere near interesting or fun enough to continue being friends with. I figured that no one wanted to hear what I had to say or cared about what my thoughts and opinions were, and conditioned myself to believe that any friends I DID make were only temporary - they would leave just like the rest, they always did. Overall, it was not a good time. As dramatic as it may seem to say that middle school held one of the lowest points in my life, it's true. But when I started blogging, I realized that there were people out there who DID want to hear my opinions, who DID want to get to know me and who genuinely liked being around me. I made the cringiest, most annoying posts in existence sometimes, and still people would enjoy them and leave kind comments. I was, and still am, extremely grateful for the kindness of the community towards me during that time.

It was also around then that I met my best friends - Lost, Sarah, Ja, and Chloe. We were all Animal Jam bloggers, and we began to support each other through the comments on each others' blog posts, slowly getting to know each other in the process. Eventually, I held a birthday party in my AJ den, and that's where I got to meet them all in real-time. I still remember us all having such a fun time, jumping around with our animal avatars and screaming silly phrases, and I am so glad that I was able to have that experience, because our friendship only grew from there. We became best friends, and they taught me that there were people out there who appreciated and loved me for who I was, that I was worth being friends with and for the first time in a while, gave me a strong feeling that I wouldn't be abandoned, not this time. And I am so happy to say that I was right. We talked more and more, using Google Hangouts and writing lengthy, enthusiastic comments back on forth on our blogs, and never once did our friendship waver, no matter what happened. We stuck together and always stayed kind, supportive, and encouraging towards one another. And now, all these years later, I am happy to say that our friendship is still just as strong, if not more so. We've long since left our Animal Jam and blogging days behind us, and we don't talk for hours on end every day like we used to, but anytime we meet back up online to chat - whether it's been days since we've last talked, or months - it's as if no time has passed at all. I've never in my life been a part of such an incredible friendship, one that is full of unwavering compassion, trust, confidence, encouragement, laughter, and love, and I've learned so much just by being a part of such a group! I can honestly say that I am a better person now, one who knows her own self-worth and who has learned so much about being a good friend to others. Our childhood dreams of meeting up for real someday still last, and may even become a reality in the near future. And yet, all of that never would have happened had it not been for a whimsical animal game and a random webpage about it.

Not every single memory I have of my time blogging is good, of course. There were certainly times that were tougher, times that led to disappointing reveals, falling-outs, and lots of anger and confusion. I held a grudge against some people for a long time, still feeling betrayed and furious with their actions for years on end. I was overdramatic in some ways, yes - I was a kid and this was one of the biggest negative situations I had ever truly witnessed, much less been a part of. In some cases, I admit that I even let my naivety and hurt overtake me, causing me to say some nasty, insensitive things to a few people. I completely cut those people out of my life and wondered for years why I couldn't find it in my heart to truly forgive them. But more time passed, I learned and changed, and I eventually realized that I was no longer angry. I'm sure those people I'm referring to are long gone from this corner of the Internet, but even if only for my own sake, I still wanted to officially say that they are forgiven. They have been for a while now. I also formally apologize, with all of my heart, for anything I did as a kid that hurt anyone else. I was a sheltered child who didn't yet understand all the viewpoints that the world had to offer, a child who hadn't fully learned how to healthily work through her negative emotions. But even so, being young and dumb is simply an explanation, not an excuse, for how I acted. I hope the people I harshly turned away from all those years ago know that I deeply regret it. They did not deserve that, but they do deserve this sincere apology, and to know that they are loved and appreciated, regardless of what may have been said in the past. I regret not being able to properly tell them before I quit both the game and this blog, but I hope that, somehow, they know anyway. I hope they are doing well, that they too have grown and changed and matured, and that they understand that their past doesn't have to be their future. I really do wish them the best, and I'm sure that Younger Me would be relieved to hear that that weight finally lifts from her shoulders.

But overall, most of what I remember of my time running The Weekly Jammer News makes me realize how lucky I was. Everyone in the AJ blogger community, whether I had talked to them for years or had just met them, was always so encouraging and inclusive toward me. Every friendship I made felt genuine. Every time I wrote up a new post, I had fun doing so. Every time I held or attended a "party", I felt an outpouring of unity and kindness. This community was genuinely so, so incredible, so close-knit and built upon such good qualities, and I cannot tell you how thankful I am to have been a part of it at its prime. Everyone I met has a special place in my memories. I hope you know I never forgot you all.

This blog's last post, made in 2018 during my freshman year of highschool, talked about me returning from a lengthy hiatus. How school had been stressful and had drained my energy and motivation to post, but I would make an effort to continue posting again because of my sheer passion and love for blogging and the AJ blogger community. But, considering that was the last true post I ever made, I guess that promise was kinda empty, huh? I do apologize for that. I hadn't really expected highschool to affect me in the way it did. Freshman year was the roughest year I have ever experienced, and highschool in general was full of a lot of negative memories. I figured out that I had anxiety, and I fell into rut after rut of bleak hopelessness as I returned constantly to an environment that only made it worse. But, in the end, I made it through thanks to newfound interests and the support of my best friends, and I do feel as if I am a stronger person because of it.

I graduated highschool this year. I no longer play Animal Jam every day, but I do come back to it every once in a while, since I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the game that changed my life. I don't blog or really write much at all anymore, but I do still love to write and read, and I may possibly write a new story in the near future, after all these years. I have continued to improve in making digital art, and now I have an art style that I can confidently say I love. I'm also now able to share what I make proudly with the world on Instagram. I don't have the same interests, not exactly, but I've found new ones that mean the world to me. I'm no longer scared to share my love for those interests - the Internet has taught me to embrace what I love, and other, similar people out there will love it with me. I've got my own dog, my own driver's license and car, and I'm working towards getting a job this summer before I go off to community college later on this year. I've got friends, both in my own state and in other ones (and other countries too) that I love and feel loved around. I'm not done figuring things out about myself and improving, but for now, for the most part, I like who I am and who I've become. And at the root of it all, I honestly have this blog and Animal Jam to thank for it. I will always, ALWAYS be grateful for such an amazing childhood experience.

As I'm sure you know, this blog is abandoned now, and it will not be returning. I've moved on, and I'm sure everyone else has too. That's okay though - change is natural, and, although bittersweet, it should be acknowledged and embraced. So this is my official "quitting" post, the one that is 4 years overdue. But hey, I hope you know how much you all impacted my life. I hope you know that I wish you all, every one of you, all the best - that you're thriving and growing and loving yourself and your work and simply being happy. You deserve it, you really do. <3


I know this was a lengthy read, but if you read this far, thanks for letting me reminisce and tell my story! It's something I've really been wanting to do, and I'm glad that now, I've finally done it. This blog will stay up for everyone to enjoy, whether it's being looked back on or found for the first time, but I think it deserved a final post to wrap up its era. If anyone ever wants to get in contact with me again and see what I've been working on, I am extremely active on my art Instagram, @swirlofserendipity! I love talking with old friends, so just drop me a DM saying who you are and I'll gladly say hello again! And of course, you're just as welcome if you're new to this blog, too! I also post occasionally on my Twitter, @Swirlsfanart, and my Tumblr, swirls-fanart. :)


I think that's about all there is to say for now, huh? Once again, thank you. This is Swirlshine, signing out. :)